Awakening Experiences Of Swami Mounamurti Saraswati

Swami Mounamurti Saraswati

Experiences Of Swami Mounamurti Saraswati

My First Experience

1986

I can still remember this experience in July 1986, like it was yesterday. I woke early, and whilst still in bed I looked towards the wall at the foot of the bed (the room was pitch black) and to my total astonishment there was an clear vision, or apparition of Swami Satyananda Saraswati (from the shoulders up) in front of me.

My mind then became as if paralyzed and began to automatically focus on the manifested vision of Swamiji. The vision remained for some time, and although his lips did not move Swami Satyananda was speaking to me, and I was receiving his message.

I then got up to commence my Sadhana while my wife was asleep. It was about 3.30 am, I first had a shower, and then started my Yoga Sadhana. I did jala neti, followed by Surya Namaskar 10 rounds, Bhastrika 50 Breaths Left, Right, Centre X 5, Nadi Shodhan 10 Rounds with Mahabandha, Trataka 10 Minutes followed by Ajapa Japa, pranayama and mantra within Sushumna.

It’s weird how you remember these things, but some things stick in your memory vividly. It was as I got into the Ajapa Japa, and was concentrating on the afterimage of the candle flame that my breath got extremely extinguished, and then suddenly all I could feel was an awakening in Mooladhara (this was the first experience) Chakra, and it became intense.

As it continued, I became as steady as a rock and it felt like my spine had locked bolt upright. I quickly wondered if this was what I had been desiring, actually happening now. Chidakasha started to become expansive, and it looked as if I was looking up or out into the sky, and all that I could see were clouds moving continually quickly from left to right. I actually wondered then if my eyes were open or closed and if I had a body or not.

My mind went back to the only thing I could feel in my body, the Shakti in Mooladhara going off like a generator, and I wondered if I should concentrate on my breath in Sushumna “which felt it was conducting electricity”. I simultaneously focused on slowly breathing up and down Sushumna whilst looking into the clouds, when all of a sudden an intense connection happened between Mooladhara which went backwards a bit and up a bit into the next Chakra, then it felt like the generator was fully switched on and the next centre which felt somewhere within the sacrum was radiating intensely.

The next experience whilst looking within Chidakaska and into the clouds, was that I felt like I was loosing contact (astral levitation – slipping out of the physical body into the astral) with the ground (terra firma) and then, I began feeling like I was beginning to fly in the same direction of the clouds. After a while, I started to feel a little bit scared of this experience and then I opened my eyes and came out of the experience.

I was spaced out for sometime but could not tell anyone, because nobody would understand. I then decided to slow down a bit on the intensity of my Yoga Sadhana that I had been used to, and for sometime I wondered what would have been the result, if I had not felt fearful of the unknown inner realm. Then my wife who was pregnant with our second child who did not even practice yoga, told me that she woke up in the middle of the night and saw with her eyes open a vision of Sri Paramahamsa Ramakrishna in our bedroom.

She had only seen his picture once in one of my Yoga books. Her visions continued to appear of Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, on doorknobs, in the mirror. This scared her a lot, especially when she went into the kitchen one morning and she saw an apparition (an open eyed vision) of a whitish woman with a white covering calmly beaming at her. My wife said that she was not scared and she felt very peaceful during the vision of the Lady, and that the apparition of the women stayed there for some time, then eventually disappeared.

Later In 1988, I asked Swami Satyananda about this phenomena- see below 1988 Meeting my Guru.

My Second Experience

1986

I remember later in 1986, that I had become intensely dedicated to Pranayama and Kriya Yoga having read some classics like my first Yoga book, Hatha Yoga Pradipika, The teachings of Swami Satyananda Saraswati (over and over) and Paramahamsa Yogananda Giri’s Autobiography of a Yoga at least five times.

Many times when I was practicing Kriya Yoga in those days, I used to start my practice at around 4.00am, full of spiritual ambitions or desires to reach the goals that the Yogic Masters had described in the classical Yogic texts. The first seven Kriyas would build up the awareness in the Chakras and begin to stimulate the pranas in Sushumna, especially after Maha Bheda Mudra.

One morning, seated in Bhadrasana I began the Manduki Kriya, with the towel pressure on the Mooladhara Chakra pressure point. Mooladhara awareness was always constant, then the focus would begin to focus in Nasikagra drishti (the space at the nose tip). Eyes fixed, the awareness would slowly begin to consolidate into the subtle flow of the incoming and outgoing breath right inside my nosrtils. Holding your concentrated awareness there without your mind wandering here and there is difficult. No matter how difficult you continue, after some I became become totally absorbed in the subtle flowing feel of the breath starting to become perfectly balanced.

I started to feel like I was making spiritual progress, my mind became concentrated and energized and then came a feeling of the awakened energy within Mooladhara, which then began to flow up and connect with Swadhisthana.

At this point there would come an obsticle to difficult to ignore. I would automatically have this experience of my sexual organ becoming erect, to the point that it would make me either start to fantasise sexual thoughts that would then begin to flow, or I would start to feel how useless am I?

Often I would get absorbed in the unconscious thoughts that would then manifest during my Sadhana and in my dreams at night where you are not supposed to be aware of your ego or desires. During this stage of my Sadhana sometimes my dreams were full of either huge snakes or sexual thoughts or Yogis.

In the dreams I would often be fully awake and aware, like lucid dreaming. Then I became aware that I could alter the dreams at will and play with them and construct scenes or epics. Sometimes before I went to sleep, I would pray for it to not happen again. I used to think this Kundalini is making me nuts, because if I go to sleep I would be confronted with a seductive temptress and then the unconscious primal desires would take over.

“See my notes below in italic on this phenomena.”

I thought this strange, because I was a married man with a healthy sex life. Around the same time I was having many deep experiences in meditation, astral levitation and taking flight into chidakash and constant nada began and continues to this day.

"Years later I experienced that the only way to move through this inner sexual temptations experience, is that the Inner Guru, must come to your aid and help you awaken Viveka “discrimination”. ( This is what happened to me, in a dream/ vision/ awakening I was being tempted and was beginning to manufacture what I desired to see psychically, when the inner guru in the form of “Swami Niranjan” told me” there is a way Viveka. In the powerful vision Swamiji and I, were washing out hands in a bathroom hand basin, and I could clearly see his image in the mirror as he told me this wisdom”. I believe that Swamiji rescued me from being stuck in an endless psychic realm, of primal fantasies and temptations.This is my belief, the astral form of the Guru teaches you how to progress. I highly recommend that anyone desiring to awaken their Sushumna or Kundalini, must find a real Guru before getting deep in uncharted waters. And pray for their grace and inner assistance."

Also related to primal sexual desires and Yoga is another dream/vision that I will share with readers. I had this experience one night in January 1998 while staying at Kodari, which is a small village in a huge himalayan gorge at one of the Tibetan and Nepalese border passes. I saw very clearly a beautiful naked yogini smeared with ash, and then I immediately started to sexually desire her. As the desire became strong and my power to manufacture any changes increased Shiva appeared in front of me. He had long white hair and his third eye which was vertically open beamed at me. Shiva then said to me that “ you can . I am only here for one reason and that is Gods love” After this and other such experiences, I have come to the conclusion that the ultimate goal of Yoga and Tantra is to know Gods love.

My Third Experience

1986

Around the same time in 1986, one night after I had been making love with my wife, I rolled over to my side of the bed. As I relaxed and calmed down I closed my eyes. To my surprise my inner vision was of a totally white light that filled the whole of Chidakasha. As I relaxed and looked into the white light, I knew this was something special and deep, something that has come to me now as a result of my Sadhana.

As I lay still trying not to move, mooladhara started to awaken. I kept looking within the white light and listening to the nada of the the inner sounds within me. I started to slowly breath up and down Sushumna and began to concentrate my mind within. After some time I could feel the awareness of energy starting to rise by it self. As I stopped conscious breathing and began to relax more into the light, I noticed that I could not feel my body anymore.

Suddenly my awareness started travelling within, into what felt like a tunnel of white light. And as my awareness started to move within faster, the nada started changing frequencies. So many indescribable sounds were experienced, and it felt like I was flying extremely fast within.

It was so intense, but I don’t know where it ended because in the morning, when I woke up all I knew was it was something very different and powerful, related to Kundalini and the sexual experience.

1988

About two years later April / May 1988, I had to go to Munger, India and meet Paramahamsa Satyananda Saraswati, (Founder of Bihar School of Yoga) to see what was happening to me as a result of my Yoga Sadhana and to get some much needed guidance.

Swamiji told me many personal mystic things, some of his guiding comments follows:

I first mentioned the visions of Sri Ramakrishna at Satsang with Swami Satyananda. Everyone in attendance was of Indian nationality, and all were very surprised when I mentioned the name Sri Ramakrishna. Swamiji, reminded me of Sri Ramakrishna’s title, that of a Paramahamsa. At this first meeting with Swamiji which was a group satsang, as I was silently listening to the Hindi voice of Swamiji, I started pondering thoughts of what I should ask Swamiji if I get a chance. A prominent thought came to my mind about a Mudra in Kriya Yoga, then all of a sudden I saw clearly with my eyes open a “luminous” vision of what I had to do regarding that Mudra. Then Swamiji told me to meet him in private, later. That’s when I first spoke to Swamiji in private, about my inner experiences and about my wife’s visions of Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa.

When I entered Swamiji’s room, which was on the top floor of Ganga Darshan (which is a seven story building that was designed from a vision of Swamiji’s which symbolizes the route of the Kundalini through the seven Chakras) at Bihar School of  Yoga, I was awestruck by his holy image and powerful presence.

We were completely alone, and Swamiji was sitting in a meditative posture (like a statue) in a large room on a huge mat. He radiated a godly presence, and looked like divinity.

Swamiji then asked me to sit down right in front of him, only about one metre away. I could not believe it, to me it was like meeting god face to face.

I still cherish this moment/experience as a gift from the divine.

First I told Swamiji, in depth of my wife’s visions, and he said in a nutshell that * she must have a guru”.

Then I told Swamiji, of my first strange inner experiences that happened in 1986. He asked me then to “close your eyes and try to meditate”. Then after what seemed like five or ten minutes, I opened my eyes and looked at Swamiji, who still had his eyes closed meditating. After about another five minutes or so, he opened his deep piercing brown eyes and said: * You have been very fortunate, I can see no future problems for you * You do not have to go to Rishikesh”. I did not ask Swamiji what that meant.

Swamiji  also recommended diet changes, saying that * You should increase the fat content in your diet”. This was a revelation for me, as I was until that day a very lean vegan with a strict diet which resulted in minimal body fat. Swamiji could easily see that, and what was great about his practical wisdom is that he could offer guidance from the physical to the hidden mystical with absolute precision and inner clarity.

I also told Swamiji about my distracting erections that happened during my second inner experience in 1986 while practicing Manduki Kriya during Kriya Yoga Sadhana. And Swamiji said: * Mounamurti you are married aren’t you, and you know what to do!. I gathered from that answer, that a male Sadhaka facing inner awakenings is benefited by having a loving Shakti or wife and visa versa.

When I eventually was leaving his room, Swamiji said as I was prostrating to him: * Mounamurti you can, if you wish continue with Kriya Yoga, as it is better than not practicing any Yoga Sadhana at all, but the most important thing for you is to be innocent”, and then I said “just like a child”. And when I said that, I felt like Swamiji was my spiritual father and that I loved and revered him so much.

During my stay I visited Swami Satyananda’s underground Sadhana room at the old BSY and Ananda Bhavan, but I could not go far from the magnet that is Swamiji.

Whilst I was staying at Bihar School of  Yoga in Munger, nearly every couple of days, a Swami would appear at my door with some fruit that Swamiji had  sent to me. Then he would say that Swamiji wanted me to come for his Darshan and Satsang. Often at the private meetings and at Satsangs, I would be lost for words, but sometimes I asked Swamiji questions about his Sannyasa days at Rishikesh and the Himalayas etc in private, and I could see his mind actually going there and then Swamiji told me that:* Goraknath is at Gangotri. Swamiji also told me about the novel way he used to get rid of mosquitos at Rishikesh which was quiet funny.

I asked Swamiji if he would ever come to Australia again, and Swamiji’s reply was that: * I will not even leave this building (Ganga Darshan) unless I am given the command or mandate to do so. I understood Swamiji’s answers from the viewpoint of surrender and transmission.

On the day I was leaving the Ashram, I went for Swamiji’s last Darshan and blessings on the top floor of Ganga Darshan where Swamiji was living in near seclusion ( in preparation for permanently leaving the Bihar school of Yoga) and Swamiji handed me a large bundle of mail and gave me a small job to do for him. Swamiji asked me to * deliver this mail to Swami Shankardevananda on returning to Sydney, which I did.

I was travelling with a close yogic friend from Australia (who was then only twenty one years of age) who after taking Karma Sannyasa initiation from Swamiji, asked Swamiji about surrender. There was only Swamiji and both of us present when my friend asked Swamiji this sincere question, and Swamiji’s sincere answer was “not now”. I understood this answer instantly that the surrender and connection has to be on the inner plane and that the inner form is what is truly important. The Gurus true form leads the bhakta to connect within as this leads to surrender and the bliss of god’s grace.

I felt very honored that he would trust me to do this small job for him, and I guarded that mail like my life depended on it. It was like being given a mission from God, or my Guru who I regard as godly. When I left BSY, I felt that those Swami’s living with him are so lucky.

May 1988

In the photo above we had just had a brief tea break in the presence of Paramahamsa Satyananda
The energy field which was radiating through him was so powerful it was hard for me to move
I am seated at far right, after feeling the infusion of this self realized saint, Paramahamsa Satyananda Saraswati

Bihar School of Yoga 1988

Fourth Experience

1989

I have had hundreds of dreams of my Guru, but one night in December 1989 I went to sleep thinking about my Guru, wishing I was with him. He appeared in my dream directly in front of me like Shiva with Serpents wrapped all around his chest and neck, and they were moving around his neck.

Swamiji said now I am going to teach you Kriya Yoga, and I then readied myself sitting directly in front of him and looking into his eyes. As I looked into his eyes, I felt Swamiji transmit something through his mind, into my chest region.

I could feel something slowly building up within my chest and then something happened, the feeling of love or bliss exploded throughout my soul. I could see myself now lying on the floor, facing upwards surrendering to the intense and overpowering feeling of love, bhakti or bliss. Then my awareness went back into my ecstatic bady, and I enjoyed the bhakti of the soul that was awakened by my Guru.

When I woke up I could still feel it only with less intensity. The feeling stayed with me for a few days then subsided. Throughout this experience and all of the others, I could tell no one, because nobody would understand.

Fifth Experience

2001

I was in a semi conscious state lying in bed when a brilliantly orange light appeared in Chidakasha. I was suddenly mesmerized by it its beauty and the energy sparks coming from the sides of it. At this stage it was two dimensional and I was the observer of it. As I looked longer and closer at it Mooladhara started to awaken, and I had no control of the event. I felt like I was awake and totally aware but my body felt like it was paralysed. As my mind became more engulfed in the beauty of the Orange light it changed from two dimensional to multi dimensional, something beyond description. My mind was as if paralysed, and my body was felt like a log of wood. All I could feel was the intensity of Mooladhara Chakra erupting beyond my control, and what felt like a conduit of high voltage electricity connecting Mooladhara to my spinal cord and the Orange light inside Chidakasha. The intensity of it was unimaginable, intense, unwanted but definitely inspiration for me to continue to uncover the Shakti or energy that automatically makes you surrender.

In 2002 I responded to an in depth question about “advanced aspects of yoga and the fear of chakra awakening” which was directed to (Dr. Jonn Mumford) Swami Anandakapila Saraswati by one of his advanced students during a student forum. Swamiji had my response to this question on his websites teachings page for some time. To read a brief comment about my inner experience above,( which is an excerpt from my response to the question of “the fear of chakra awakening”)  by my esteemed friend, Swami Anandakapila Saraswati “Dr Jonn Mumford” see below.

Let us start with Swami Mounamurti Saraswati’s interesting comment:

The point is some people can develop awareness of Psychic - maybe even spiritual experiences quickly or easily to the point of destabilizing their perspective and creating a lot of mental conflicts for themselves and others if they do not have proper guidance

How many people have the INNER vision who can function effectively with wisdom on the Psychic plane (Vigyanamaya Kosha) and help people undergoing psychic/spiritual happenings or events. I went and found Swami Satyananda at the right time in my life even though it turned my whole world upside down. And I thank God for allowing me to meet such a spiritual person in this lifetime.

The world is indeed in need of such beings, especially so if you consider that many peoples Kundalini / Sushumna / or Chakra awakenings could be just around the corner. Only a Guru who has traversed the path and is an adept is advisable for such people.

I had an experience with a brilliantly Orange light about the end of last year. I was in a semi conscious state lying in bed when an orange light appeared in Chidakash. I was suddenly mesmerized by it its beauty and the energy sparks coming from the sides of it. At this stage it was two dimensional and I was the observer of it. As I looked longer and closer at it Mooladhara started to awaken and I had no control of the event as I felt like I was awake and totally aware but my body felt like it was paralyzed. As my mind became more engulfed in the beauty of the Orange light it changed from two dimensional to multi dimensional, something beyond description .My mind was as if paralyzed and my body was like a log of wood. All I could feel was the intensity of Mooladhara erupting beyond my control and what felt like a conduit of high voltage electricity connecting Mooladhara to my spinal cord and the Orange light inside Chidakash.

The intensity of it was unimaginable, intense, unwanted but definitely inspiration for me to continue to uncover the Shakti or energy that automatically makes you surrender.

I have since read an article that Swami Janakananda Saraswati wrote, saying that before he met Swami Satyananda he used to have similar experiences in dreams of energy and Kriyas manifesting. And it was not until later, after his Initiation by Swami Satyananda into Kriya Yoga that he then understood. Also I have read of other people who have had other similar experiences of energy, etc, manifesting in their dreams. Lucky people find a Guru, lead a Yogic lifestyle and continue.

Some people unfortunately don't get guidance at the appropriate time, or repress the experiences back into the unconscious, and try to believe that they don’t exist. Others make their own life a misery or, worse, other people's lives.

The juggling act you mentioned is spot on, the fine line of being able to function in society with higher awareness(variable) without losing it, if you are highly psychic (not me) and being either washed away with Maya or functioning with our egos(variable) but still giving time to express what needs to be experienced (evolution) practicing some Sadhana.

“Indeed Swami Mounamurti has shared an experience with us that should give many of you confidence that you are not becoming psychiatrically ill in terms of being delusional and Psychotic”.

I apologize if any reader feels that this auto bio is a bit lengthy, what I wish to get across to anyone that may be  facing similar inner experiences, is  that you are not alone. On the other hand, this information may also be useful for Yoga Practitioners that  may have been practicing Yoga for years and have  been unaware of the possibility of Psychic or Spiritual Experiences.

~ Swami Mounamurti Saraswati

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